Despite the fact that social media and the Internet have dramatically changed the landscape of the dating scene, some concepts still hold true. If you are trying to figure out if the relationship you are in is just a fling or the real deal consider these points:
- Be wary of over intense courtships. If daily flowers, poetry and constant text messaging are all part of the first month of the relationship, you could be headed for heartbreak. This kind of extreme show of affection often has a quick burnout rate. The act of courtship becomes more important than the relationship so when the honeymoon period is over so endeth the ‘love’.
- If conversation constantly leads in the direction of your partner’s ‘ex’ you could be a rebound lover. Make sure that your new flame is over his, or her, old one before you get involved. There is nothing worse than settling for someone else’s leftovers and then still getting kicked to the curb.
- Have you been introduced to your new lover’s friends? If your relationship seems to be on the QT and you can’t get out of the closet you might want to get curious about why. You could be in a ‘test drive’ period, where they are getting to know you before making introductions or your soulmate has no soul and is just stringing you along.
- Watch for actions not words. Some people will say anything to get what they want or to avoid uncomfortable discussions and situations. Pay less attention to what your new flame says and more attention to what he or she does. Their actions will give you clues as to whether they are in it for real, particularly during difficult moments.
- Most importantly…follow your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
What do you need to do to answer the question, “Is this just a fling?”